tween sex scene

everyone who has seen the sneak preview of BOYLETS will tell you that if you didn't know the two guys were straight, they would have had you fooled that they were not just acting out a scene but were really into it in the finale love scene of the movie BOYLETS which will be shown on october 14 in robinsons galleria, remar cinema cubao, isetann cinema quiapo and colon cinema cebu. This is Joef Javier's first full length movie and although he has been seen full naked in some illegally distributed photos on the internet, he said that 'acting in a movie is different kasi hindi matatakpan mga mali at pangit di tulad ng picture naduduktor. kaya kinalimutan ko na lang ang itsura ko at nagpokus sa ginagawa ng karakter ko. malinaw magbigay ng direksyon si direk at honest siya kung gusto niya o hindi ang ginawa mo... ni hindi ako naasiwa sa mga eksenang love scene kasi naramdaman ko yung karakter ko, kung ano siya, kung sino siya. pakiramdam ko nga nung ginagawa namin yun, isinulat ni direk ang script na ako talaga yung ikinuwento niya.' Joef is also an out of school youth who has tried his luck in some male beauty pageants and posed in some male magazines but he was 'llubog-llitaw kasi hindi ko alam ano gusto ko talaga... ngayon eto talaga ang gusto ko kasi nag-enjoy ako gawin ang movie. kaya sana panoorin niyo...'

BOYLETS trailer

BOYLETS showing October 14

What if you are still very young and at peace with your sexuality and your dream boy is an out of school good for nothing guy? What if he actually likes you? What if he is about to leave for good and only you can stop him? This steamy indie movie is showing in select cinemas: Robinsons Galleria, Remar-Cubao, Isetann-Recto, Cebu and soon in Davao. Starring Joeffrey Javier, Charles Delgado, Rusty Adonis and Francis Sienes. Yup, I produced, wrote and directed it. Please support. Thanks.

finally back

Thursday, October 30, 2008

finally back!!!

was so busy for a few months with my movie QUICKTRIP that i not only forgot to log on here but totally forgot my password. until yesterday i remembered an important word... and person... and finally remembered...

so much has happened. "Quicktrip" with very little publicity made good audience turn out. and if you noticed that since two years ago, a cinema in robinsons galleria, ortigas has been devoted to screening only local independently produced digital movies. it's called INDIE SINE.

but to-date, there are far too many indie movies for indie sine to accommodate so my group decided to look for venues outside robinsons.

we are now screening indie movies on almost every week in isetann cinerama, recto, quiapo, manila.

we started last september with the re-screening of my past movies like "Duda", "Bathhouse". "Bilog", "Moreno", etcetera and we did perform well at the box office. i was surprised that "duda" and "bathhouse" still brought in some market.

isetann is intending to build their own indie circuit.

Posted by crisp at 8:16 PM

what its like to be forty

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

what it's like to be forty

i got this request for advice from a member in guys4men.com:
From: gian [history] [block!]
Date: 03 Jun 2008, 20:18
Hi! Interesteing posts you have on your profile.

So just wondering, how's life at 40? I'm 32 and starting to feel lonely =(

and here's my reply which i'd like to share with other thirty-something's who may be feeling a little low that they are still single at their age:

its a happy place to be! because before it was too late, i was able to turn my world around from someone who's main goal in life is to find a lifetime partner to someone who makes something of his life by realizing the next (to finding a lover) thing in his life's prioritites: making indie queer movies.

I actually almost didn't make it here because i was always out there trying to find someone for me and each time i saw a glimpse or a promise of that much coveted "love", I would easily grab it, to a point where the person representing it would be choking from the intensity of my desire to be with someone forever.

Start investing in positive actions, positive seeds that you think will complete you even when there is no one else with you. This is usually the thing that you have a passion for. It is usually a "something" and never a "someone". Usually its a dream you had when you were still innocent until harsh realities turned you into a cynic.
I always believed in the power and romance of the big screen and making movies that are shown on the big screen whether people appreciate it or not, has somewhat completed me.
There is always that person out ther waiting and preparing himself but he will not come into our life as our partner if one of you isn't ready yet.
So, do the things that make you happy and invest in good quality friends.
And if someone comes your way while you are still preparing for the perfect someone, try to relax and just enjoy and support each other. When its time for that person to leave, never think you invested anything nor that you should fight for him to stay. I believe that when his mission has been accomplished, he will have to part ways with you. So do it with less drama. You will realize that you can be friends forever, if only...
strive hard to be truthful and open...
And forty will be the best years of your life...

Posted by crisp at 12:03 PM

on raid of gay venues and your rights

Sunday, May 11, 2008

on raid of gay venues and your rights

Kagabi, ibinunyag ng aking kaibigan ang rason kung bakit sunod sunod ang raid ng mga blue bars at gay clubs. Ako'y tila nababagabag sa aking narinig... ahhh...kaya naman pala!

Pero, alam kong marami pa rin ang gustong pumunta sa mga ganitong lugar.

Kaya't heto ang mga dapat gawin tuwing may raid to ensure the safety and security of bar patrons and party goers, especially those who are Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender (LGBT), from corrupt law enforcers / police, and criminals who pose as law enforcers.

Unang una, DO NOT PANIC!

1. Be polite and ask, "BAKIT PO?"

2. If s/he says, "Hinuhuli kita/Inaaresto kita/Dadalhin kita sa presinto/Iniimbitah an ka sa presinto," ask again, Bakit po? Ano po ang KASO?"

3. S/he will mention the CRIME. See chart for the list of common or usual crimes. If you are NOT an offender, inform the law enforcer that you are not committing a crime.

4. If you can, GET THE NAME of the law enforcer and his/her precinct number. This is for your personal security. Remember that some hold-uppers or kidnappers sometimes disguise themselves as law enforcers.

5. Before going with the law enforcer, INFORM AT LEAST THREE OTHER PERSONS. If possible, have them take a photo of you and the law enforcer.

6. Under the 2002 Philippine National Police (PNP) Operational Procedure, remember that
a. WARNING SHOTS ARE NOT ALLOWED in police interventions;
b. MEDIA PRESENTATION OF ARRESTED PERSONS IS GENERALLY NOT ALLOWED except for heinous crime, arrests with warrants, and arrests incident to a valid search; and
c. UNDERCOVER AGENTS MUST CARRY WITH THEM THEIR MISSION SLIP.

Posted by crisp at 9:56 PM

when its time to end the relationship

when its time to end the relationship

a forum thread in g4m asks: "what to do when your lover leaves you?" and "why are you still single?"

here's what i'd like to share about "loosing" someone you love thru a break up...

make sure you have friends and friends make sure that you are there for each other... when a friend's relationship ends, buy him a gift... go out on a date with your friend. have a pajama party where he can cry his heart out...

and friend, wag mong iisiping mapag-iisa ka na sakaling iwanan ka ng taong mahal mo. never think that you invested anything because you did not, you simply treated him as you think someone in love should. dapat kasi sa relationship (pagkakamali ko din ito before), never think in terms of panahong sinayang or ininvest... never think that it was your fault. never think that it was anybody's fault. when its time for two persons to part ways, be they lovers, friends or families, nothing can stop them from leaving... parting ways can mean many things, but mostly for you to learn about the meeting, the once in a lifetime encounter, the lessons... it is also the chance for you to take new paths... when someone you love leaves, it should never be negative, but a positive development...

this is really hard. like yesterday i just broke up with someone ( he said he is confused about his feelings at the moment and too sorry to see me in the meantime and is asking if we can be friends muna)...

but because i made a paradigm shift and took a new perspective in life, the ritual of breaking up or off is not as painful and as too dramatic...

its partly sad and partly scary... but i trust that something good is coming my way...

it was always like that... you will soon find out...

Posted by crisp at 10:27 AM

Do M2M Relationships Last?

A survey in one of the forums in the site guys4men asks: "Do M2M Relationships Last?"

Read the responses and most of them declare no, not for the Filipino queer community. It doesn't. Well, actually, nobody really mentioned Filipino. The answers were all in the general sense that all man to man or gay relationships don't last.

I itched to give my insights on the matter, so here goes:

"i think ang dapat na itanong ay ANO ANG UGALI NG PINOY KUNG BAKIT SA MGA BAKLA AY HINDI NAGTATAGAL ANG M2M RELATIONSHIP?

Kasi nababasa ko sa ibang bansa, for life talaga ang mga relasyon. Sa kanila malaki ang weight ng pagiging faithful and loyal.

Sa atin, masaya ka pa kapag tinawag kang putang bakla. Ang kaibigan nating ahas hindi din naman natin kinakastigo. Kakantiyawan lang tapos okay na.

Meron pa din naman sigurong m2m na nagtatagal at magtatagal pero kailangan alam ng dalawang parties na kahit anong mangyari, kapag may darating at darating na ibang taong dibersyon ay hayaan na lang nilang dumaan ito sa buhay nila. Pero maging totoo sila at huwag magsisinungaling or pagtatakpan ng mga kung anu-ano. Kung biglang may iba kang crush na iba eh sabihin sa lover and the lover must not take it against you nor take it as because he is being inadequate or becoming less attractive.

Now, kaya nagtatagal ay dahil pinaninindigan niyo ang isa't-isa. Tandaan na madaming darating sa buhay ng bawat isa. So dont force it. You can't stop them, ang mga taong may mga kakaunting mensahe at misyong dala sa buhay mo. Pero manindigan kayo ng lover or partner mo na sinuman ang dumating, kayong dalawa ay hindi maghihiwalay or matitinag dahil magiging totoo kayo sa isa't-isa.

Wag ikukumpara ang bagong dating sa dati mo nang mahal. Lagi namang hindi pantay yan kasi kani-kaniyang strengths and weaknesses. But if you compare, it will not be fair to the former lover because for sure, dahil you are more interested with the new one, the comparison will most likely be in favor of the new guy.

Understand that even feelings of love can pass specially when the honeymoon stage is over. Sometimes, one in the couple will be out of it earlier than the other. You have to deal with this cautiously. You may not be "in love" but you still love him. This is what stays: "just love".

And when a new romance comes, acknowledge but never leave your partner behind. Maybe make him a part of the process you are going through. This will hurt but he will trust you more because you are truthful and open. This way, your lover will not be left in the dark and will know what to do. If he throws up a tantrum, leaves you, then his concept of love is that he owns you. If he stays with you and becomes your friend, your most intimate friend, then he shows you that he loves you so much that even when your love fades, his stays and nurtures you in the new path your heart is taking. Who knows, when and if you are mature enough, you will know that even the new romance will fade. You will soon get through it and then you will realize that the relationship you had which has withstood time is the best for you and the one that truly makes you happy. Because you have been honest and truthful right from the start, going back to the relationship will not be difficult. Your lover knows you just had a phase.

This is very difficult. Because what it your love for your present partner is really gone? Then it will be a totally different story. Again, if you are truthful and shares your feelings, insights and even fears with your lover who should be your best friend, coming to terms with the fact that your path as partners now have to part will be less painful, less dramatic, less all the hassles of a bitter romance.

Know that everyone who comes into your life has a mission as well as you have a mission to them. And when that mission is fulfilled or over, then the crossing of your paths reveal new roads to take..."

why every indie filmmaker should support 'ploning' starring judy ann santos

Why every indie filmmaker and every indie enthusiast should watch Judy Ann Santos'

Initially, na-off ako nang ang unang nabasa kong stance about the "Ploning" movie was that Juday allegedly said its not an indie movie. Pero buti na lang it was later on corrected as to the context of what she meant when she said those.

"Ploning" is an independently produced digital film and to know that it is a story that has been in its Director Dante's heart and mind for years is to see how dreams can be realized in independent movie making rather than in mainstream cinema filmmaking.

Considering that it has a mainstream cinema celebrity actress in the lead role (Judy Ann Santos), the project is a milestone in the way it is being marketed and we, the "independents" should react favorably by supporting it.

Politically, "Ploning" is finally drawing attention to the independent cinema industry with the much publicized presence of Juday as co-producer. This is a signal now to other celebrities or personalities of stellar status that perhaps hindi na sila dapat magsiksikan sa sumisikip na ma-rigodong mundo ng over-rated television. This medium where I come from and where I still work on semi-regular basis needs attention din because while it is flourishing, the materials are becoming more nakaka-bobo, in terms of content. But tv is another story. And going back, Judy Ann investin her talent and money in an independent movie signals to other stars that perhaps its time to take a second look at the independent cinema industry? Perhaps there maybe a renewed interest by the public to this "mas nirerespeto nilang indie movies" (than the mainstream movies). IF THE MOVIE MAKES GOOD SA BOX OFFICE, DEFINITELY THE OTHER STARS WILL KNOW ITS TIME...

Another point is the way it is being publicized where both abs and gma seem to be giving "Ploning" airtime so that Juday can promote and inform the Filipino tv audience. IF THE MOVIE MAKES IT, SM CINEMA AND ROBINSONS WILL KNOW THAT A FACTOR WHERE THEY SHOULD INVEST INTO IS TO HELP POOR INDIES PROMOTE sa TV. I remember my second indie movie "Bathhouse" which had the then S Files of GMA 7 and another talk show program in ABS CBN feature John Sweet Lapus and Jet Alcantara and the very short airtime I got helped "Bathhouse" become an standing room only for every screening schedule for the entire week of screening in 2005, when indie was not yet that popular.

Of course, ang mahirap is if the "clueless" mainstream cinema decision makers credit the movie just to the "presence" of Juday (clueless talaga sila kasi wala naman tayong strategist talaga sa mainstream cinema at puro tayo art film critics walang economist/business point of view na critic). Palagay ko, the Juday factor happens on the first day. Pero ang susunod na mga araw ay may factor na din ng "word of mouth" tulad ng sa Pagdadalaga ni Maximo Oliveros noon.

Imagine if movie stars begin asking for indie movie projects, and then another set of stars telling us they will invest funds in our movie projects... and imagine if SM and Robinsons will add to their deal some television airtime? I hope these cinemas do not forget that other indie movies with non-celebrity status actors made it to the box office as well.

"Ploning" is a very positive project and is a milestone in the history of Philippine indie cinema industry. I pray it achieves the producers' and the actress's goals and those other paths and doors that it will open to the less fortunate or less funded or less starred-in indie endeavors bring us further to the forthcoming golden age of indie cinema.

oh my high school life!

Oh My High School Life!

Imagine after more than twenty years, you see them again and they are seeing you, in all that you have become; yet they seem to see the more innocent version of you; then they tell you how you have never aged and you tell them as well; or perhaps because as far as you can remember, here are the remnants of the times when you were still wonderful, and here are the people who appreciates you (in media you are quite wary of people praising you and lambasting you because you know everyone has a hidden agenda)... And everyone is just happy to see each other and to be with one another. One came all the way from Canada, another from Australia, and some from our beloved home province of La Union...

Ahhh, I pretended that night not to care... but I guess we all felt we really cared for and loved each other...

With me that night were Liwliwa Lachica, Namnama Lachica, Ronaldo Hufana, Clarissa Arcangel, Irene Dario and David Caloza... Missed our other close friends Resalie Rivera, Deborah Borja, Dionisio Alcantara, Elwyn Biazon...

Of course, Edward Aradanas, Mario Andrade, Jerry Estoque, ahhh, the names...

IN 1986, a month after the February Edsa Revolution that divided some of us in our high school barkada in the northern province of La Union, our section Rizal, the pilot section, graduated, all 40 plus of us, along with around a thousand other fourth year students of La Union National High School.

after more than 20 years (batch 1986) , we meet again
in Dad's at Glorietta, Makati (2008 Feb)

I never felt any melancholy at that time, probably because I was so excited with much my anticipated entrance to the University of the Philippines Institute of Mass Communications (which is now a college) where I was to major in Broadcast Communications.

I didn't take the marching up the stage seriously anymore, because, finally, it was over. Didn't have to prove anything anymore. I placed, as I expected and fought for, third, or first honorable mention of the graduating class. In our campus, that meant you were the third most studious or intelligent or simply most stupid to have lived by the rules and even pleased too many "live-by-the-rule" teachers to merit recognition.

Our valedictorian was David Caloza. He was in LUNHS section 1 from first year while the salutatorian Edward Aradanas came around third year. That was the same year I got promoted to section 1 after finishing my second year in section 3.

David Caloza (left) and the wannabe author, me

My first year was in Ateneo de Manila high school at Katipunan, Loyola Heights, in 1982. I transferred to La Union National High School because, well, I wanted to live with my mom and sister in La Union and because of one person. I don't know if he is still alive today.

To be honest, my high school life was very innocent but very dark. Imagine a sad talented young man who is left alone in the house with all the rotten books to read, only three television stations to switch on to, one fm station to listen to, and no one to speak with in the neighborhood.

I only came alive whenever I was in school. And not everyone was happy about it.

My closest friends were David and Edward with Liwliwa, our third honorable mention classmate-friend, as a respectable pal who would mediate whenever we had squabbles, all 11 plus of us, rowdy, self centered teenagers.

Clarisa was our fashion conscious muse with Resalie as the equally pretty spunky member while Liw and Nam, like twin sisters (but one is actually a year older) were our sweetest faced. Our "Manang Biday" type of dusky beauty was Deborah and Irene was the intellectual.

Then there's Dionisio who sings classic Filipino songs all afternoon before and after class, Ronaldo who did alot of funny antics that by now he would not have remembered, and Elwyn, who was really sweet.

At that time there were no pagers, no mobiles phones, no internet, and yes, even the land phone was a luxury only the elite could afford. Well, David had a phone at home, I think.

Our gimmicks were mostly school related activities but we managed to organize parties in line with our co-corricular events.

I enjoyed those sleep-overs and those trips out of town to attend week-long seminars.

We won some top awards too, except that whenever I qualified for a national level competition, I secretly chickened out and backed out or did something so that I would not win and be recognized. I guess I was scared of something or someone back then. It was a family secret, someone I hoped would not find us. I hope that person is already six feet under by now... No I won't write about that person here.

Anyway, those were still the best years of my life!

Posted by crisp at 8:03 A

post from my nobodylovescrisp site...

post from my nobodylovescrisp site...

LONG TIME COMPANIONS

Born last October 2007, she will be my long time companion, Duda's sister...

I named her Tupah because she's like a sheep... When she is trying to get my attention, she gives a sweet unannoying cry, like a small child who is cautious the neighbors might be disturbed...

TUPAH, my toy poodle, 4 months

Tupah is very friendly and trusting. She never barks except during her play or role-playing game where she lets out quite a mouthful...

I think she is a stage actress in her former life as she has very expressive and soulful eyes.

Duda, mini-schnauzer, 3 years old

Way back in 2005, when I was being beaten and battered emotionally and physically by my then partner, I thought of having a dog as a pet. I thought back then that my partner wouldn't stay long since we always fought. I tried and fought very hard to keep him but eventually i woke up. It was a rollercoaster ride.

Duda turns 1 year old, 2005, ungroomed

One day, against my partner's wishes, I went to a village in Marikina and bought Shadow, a three month old female mini-schnauzer. We immediately connected and when I brought her home, my partner was just as enamored.

I named her Duda because that was my first commercially released full length movie.

It took three years before I finally decided to have a stud for Duda (we talked about it and it seemed that Duda was finally open to the idea).

I paid "stud services" only to find out three months later that it was a false pregnancy. The vet said Duda may have been too fat.

So I asked my brother-in-law Romy to walk her everyday.

Duda now lives with my mom and sister in our newly bought house in Bulacan (my gift for Mama).

Posted by crisp at 4:34 AM

dark love

i imported this blog from my other site. i have three blog sites actually, because i keep forgetting my password. luckily, this crisaldopablo.blogspot was hidden somewhere in my old notebooks. So here goes my only blog in the crispirations site...

Sunday, June 10, 2007

dark love

June 10, 2007

Today I make a blog. Something senseless. Maybe sensible. Maybe... Well, if its personal and i make it open to the whole world to read, i guess it ought to mean something. Am 39, and turning 40 this August. I used to have them, pocket planners that cousins give me because they didn't have any use for them. I used those planners to record my daily activities. That was 1983. I started with just entries of basic activities like going out to see a movie alone or when with companions. Who I chatted with on the phone. In those days, getting a land line was quite a task. I'll be honest that when I could afford it, I even had to pay under the table to get our house a line. In those days, we were afraid to give our phone number to strangers, specially to one night stands, because, that would mean literally opening up your door to that stranger. And just imagine if the people at home begin to suspect...

Early nineties blessed us with the pager. Then we could exchange sweet messages through paging systems. Of course, it was censored by the service providers who thought they knew better. Back then, it was easy to find out if your partner was receiving other sweet messages from other people you never heard of.

Then came the internet and of course, the mobile phone... Well, everything went crazy.

And so here I am, trying to find sense in this mad mad cyberworld where anything goes and what you say does not have to mean anything anymore... This world of so many surfaces that each surface has become so shallow the deeper meanings are lost in the clutter...

I know at this point I am not yet making sense...
Well just like every body else...
Perhaps because...

Posted by crispirations at 12:59 AM 0 comments