Do M2M Relationships Last?

A survey in one of the forums in the site guys4men asks: "Do M2M Relationships Last?"

Read the responses and most of them declare no, not for the Filipino queer community. It doesn't. Well, actually, nobody really mentioned Filipino. The answers were all in the general sense that all man to man or gay relationships don't last.

I itched to give my insights on the matter, so here goes:

"i think ang dapat na itanong ay ANO ANG UGALI NG PINOY KUNG BAKIT SA MGA BAKLA AY HINDI NAGTATAGAL ANG M2M RELATIONSHIP?

Kasi nababasa ko sa ibang bansa, for life talaga ang mga relasyon. Sa kanila malaki ang weight ng pagiging faithful and loyal.

Sa atin, masaya ka pa kapag tinawag kang putang bakla. Ang kaibigan nating ahas hindi din naman natin kinakastigo. Kakantiyawan lang tapos okay na.

Meron pa din naman sigurong m2m na nagtatagal at magtatagal pero kailangan alam ng dalawang parties na kahit anong mangyari, kapag may darating at darating na ibang taong dibersyon ay hayaan na lang nilang dumaan ito sa buhay nila. Pero maging totoo sila at huwag magsisinungaling or pagtatakpan ng mga kung anu-ano. Kung biglang may iba kang crush na iba eh sabihin sa lover and the lover must not take it against you nor take it as because he is being inadequate or becoming less attractive.

Now, kaya nagtatagal ay dahil pinaninindigan niyo ang isa't-isa. Tandaan na madaming darating sa buhay ng bawat isa. So dont force it. You can't stop them, ang mga taong may mga kakaunting mensahe at misyong dala sa buhay mo. Pero manindigan kayo ng lover or partner mo na sinuman ang dumating, kayong dalawa ay hindi maghihiwalay or matitinag dahil magiging totoo kayo sa isa't-isa.

Wag ikukumpara ang bagong dating sa dati mo nang mahal. Lagi namang hindi pantay yan kasi kani-kaniyang strengths and weaknesses. But if you compare, it will not be fair to the former lover because for sure, dahil you are more interested with the new one, the comparison will most likely be in favor of the new guy.

Understand that even feelings of love can pass specially when the honeymoon stage is over. Sometimes, one in the couple will be out of it earlier than the other. You have to deal with this cautiously. You may not be "in love" but you still love him. This is what stays: "just love".

And when a new romance comes, acknowledge but never leave your partner behind. Maybe make him a part of the process you are going through. This will hurt but he will trust you more because you are truthful and open. This way, your lover will not be left in the dark and will know what to do. If he throws up a tantrum, leaves you, then his concept of love is that he owns you. If he stays with you and becomes your friend, your most intimate friend, then he shows you that he loves you so much that even when your love fades, his stays and nurtures you in the new path your heart is taking. Who knows, when and if you are mature enough, you will know that even the new romance will fade. You will soon get through it and then you will realize that the relationship you had which has withstood time is the best for you and the one that truly makes you happy. Because you have been honest and truthful right from the start, going back to the relationship will not be difficult. Your lover knows you just had a phase.

This is very difficult. Because what it your love for your present partner is really gone? Then it will be a totally different story. Again, if you are truthful and shares your feelings, insights and even fears with your lover who should be your best friend, coming to terms with the fact that your path as partners now have to part will be less painful, less dramatic, less all the hassles of a bitter romance.

Know that everyone who comes into your life has a mission as well as you have a mission to them. And when that mission is fulfilled or over, then the crossing of your paths reveal new roads to take..."